Lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
Step right up to the greatest show on earth

In the first ring we present Jason
Training his domestic help with just a twitch of his finger

In the second ring is Martha
It takes only a dinner party to charm bankers and executives
And turn her famous bread pudding into hard cold cash

And in the center ring we have Michael
Training monkeys, chimps and even little boys

Step right up!
Step right up!

I don’t have to follow rules
They’re for all you little fools
I’m a great big famous star
Not some peon like you are
It’s all about me
I am a celebrity

Papparazi, they wait for me
Follow me everywhere I go
Off to the show
In my limo
I am so important don’t you know

The red carpet is what I get
Give me the love that I deserve
Keep that spotlight
On me all night
Just remember who you serve

I’ve got autographs to sign
Be nice, I’ll make you first in line
Then off I’ll go
In my limo

Bring in the clowns, there’s got to be clowns, where are those confounded clowns?
Courtney, where are you? Get in that miniature car and get in here!